“Hi honey! I was just about to do yoga. Making sure I’ll be relaxed as the Indians when we’re in Delhi next month, haha! Oh, you’re calling about our holiday! What, visa…? Of course we need a visa. That should be easy, we’re leaving for India in 7 weeks, plenty of time. Let’s go to the Indian embassy in Geneva. What do you mean, we can only apply in France? We have to apply in bloody Paris?! Yes, yes, I’m looking at the website of the Indian embassy there right now. Easy as pie, we can apply online! Oh no, you have to apply online, then print the form and submit it with a copy of our electricity bill. Well slap me sideways with a chainsaw. Listen to this: they want two photographs conforming to Indian Government norms. That’ll be an extra 20 euros for some ugly special-sized photos. But isn’t it a bit extravagant to spend 200 euros on travel to Paris just to pick up two passports?! What about applying by post? 119 Euros?! Well smack my ass and call me Judy. And how long will it take before they’re sending our passports back? THREE WEEKS?! Why the hell does it take so long? Guru Nanak’s Birthday? Who was Guru Nanak and why is the embassy closed for his birthday? Nevermind. Well, three weeks is not good enough, because you’re leaving for Hong Kong in two weeks and I’m going to the Netherlands. So what about applying for a visa in the Netherlands? Yes, yes, I’m looking at the website of the embassy there right now. They want a letter from our employers saying we won’t work in India. Dios mio. So I’ll apply in the Netherlands after my second trip, you’ll apply there when you come back from Hong Kong and we’ll have the passports sent from the Netherlands to Geneva. Which leaves me no time to apply for a visa for that trip to Ethiopia. No, I’m not going to worry about that right now. I’ll first do yoga. I feel a bit tense.”
books and bananas 